There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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