We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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