and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
