i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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