Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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