they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
