Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
