Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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