I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
