I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
