The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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