I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
