Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
