I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
