So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
