Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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