I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
