When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
