NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
