two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
