Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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