I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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