Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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