none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
