I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
