Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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