Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
