That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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