Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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