now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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They took my balls.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
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