Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We got so high we made milksteak
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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