Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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