i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
