i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
