the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I faked an abortion last night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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