apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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