Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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