i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
