fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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