do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
