the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
