I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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