i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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