WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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