i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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