It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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