Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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