I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize