He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
