You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
