Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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