Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
