Kareoke will never be a sober sport
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
