you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
