Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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