2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
