He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
