Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
