4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
id be glad to
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
